May 5, 2020

Breaking Down Barriers of Fear

Fears are extremely personal; which is why it is not always discussed because nobody can look at you and say. ” At this moment you are going to be able to get over your fear here.” But if we can change the way we look at fear than hopefully it will allow you to either start this project you have wanted to start or get to that end point quicker!

What are fears

First we need to understand what exactly fears are to fully understand how we can use them to our advantage as well as achieve them! The first thing you need to know about fears is that they are very vivid, imaginative, suspenseful, they also give insight into the future. Now I know what you are thinking…. You are thinking GREAT my fears are going to come true and that is not what I am getting at here. Lets break these down even further and you’ll see what I mean.

Vivid & Imaginative

We all have had those crazy vivid fears when we were kids; monsters under the bed, a fan turning into a monster and coming to get you….Okay maybe that one was just me. But as adults when a child has a fear we say that they have a very vivid imagination, and as adults we understand that there are no monsters under the bed so the imagination falls but the vividness of our fears stay with us even into adulthood. So essentially the fears are extremely loud in our head and we tend to only focus on those extremely loud ones…. Now lets hop into more what fears are and we will come back to vividness.

Stories & Tellings

Fears are stories that are untold except in our own minds. I remember listening to a ted talk about fears & this woman who was an other was describing fears in just this way. She explained how fears are stories; they have plots, they have characters which are usually ourselves. And as we play these stories aka fears out in our heads we become readers of those stories. Being a reader of our story is great but the successful entrepreneurs are authors of their stories. And what I mean by that is look at the circumstances we are living in right now. A small business owner could have this large fear of not being able to work, of course predicting a pandemic is very creative they still might think of the “rainy day” idea.

So this small business owner had a fear in their mind and instead of just reading that fear they acted and prepped for it… in a way that fear was an insight into the future. This small bizz owner is now successful in terms of he/she is able to stay afloat in uncertain times.

The Breaking Down

The hardest part of fears is all of this might sound good to plan and prep but too many of us get hung up on the LOUD more vivid fears that we can’t even see the fears below that are way more likely to happen then the ones up above. So what I want you to do is write down your fears that is keeping you from starting your bizz, or launching your idea. Below is a list of mine when I started three years ago….

  1. Other people’s opinions on me starting a photography business…what would they say…what would they think.
  2. Am I good enough to become a full time photographer
  3. What if nobody shows up?
  4. What if I fail and everyone sees because social media is a thing and if I fall everyone will see it.
  5. What if I can’t match up to so-in-so’s success?

All of these fears have lots of things in common; one they are very vivid because I can play each of these out in my head. But the big kicker here is most of them are based on other peeps opinions & someone else’s validation. So now look at yours; do you find that most of yours are those common factors too? Are they based on someone else’s validation… Chances are they fall into those two categories. And truth is it happens because as humans we crave validation!

Think about it; you post a picture on instagram and you are instantly wanting likes and comments because if they are liking and commenting then that means they like my work, they like me, I must be doing something right. But in reality we need to be focusing on creating that inner validation!

Stop Chasing a title; Start Chasing your Purpose

FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK: stop chasing what other people think is successful and start creating your own success and that all starts with your purpose and looking for the inner fulfillment. I will be honest too; a lot of the times you can start out with a purpose and then it changes, and it changes again… heyo guess what we change, we evolve it is 100 percent okay to have your purpose change as your bizz changes!

Now lets hop back to vividness! Like I said before a lot of them times we focus on those super loud fears that are based on other peeps opinions that we never get down to the ones that we can actually do something about. I remember talking to a boss babe and after breaking down all of her fears we got down to one that was actually a real fear… This fear was about logistics of making her bizz legal! And I remember telling her, ” OH girl we can totally get you legal and get all the licenses you need.”

It is 100 percent a fear because we haven’t done maybe that part of business before but it is something we can actually fix so you can move forward!

Change the world failure

Okay so now lets leap to failures; once you have taken those steps to put your bizz or your ideas in motion this is usually when failures pop in. If I am being honest I hate the word FAILURE it has such negative connotation, but if we also change the world failure & see what it really is girlll shizz will go down!

Steven “failed” once and I remember asking him how do you get past that? How do you try again? What happens if you fail again in front of everyone, and he said something so profound.

“This is will not be the first and last time that I fail. I am also glad I failed because I wasn’t ready… I learned from this fall.”

SOOOOOO what does that mean! FAILURES ARE NOT FAILS THEY ARE LESSONS!!! So lets change the word!!! Failures are developments, lessons, growth, they evolutions, which end up being achievements!!! I remember for me nobody came to my first Babes Behind the Bizz Meeting and instead of getting hung up on the fact that nobody showed up and it was a failure… No I was like okay why didn’t they show up? How can I add value? What can I do to change what happened?

FAILURES; LESSONS ARE GOING TO HAPPEN BUT LEARN FROM THEM AND MOVE ON!!! So here is my challenge for you; change how you look at your fears. Ask yourself those questions, and change your mindset on how you look at failures!

YOU GOT THIS SIS!!!!

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